Learning the Lesson of Civility in Youth Sports

As a mom of athletes, one of my greatest joys is watching my boys play their sports.  I've learned to appreciate their coaches for teaching them not only the skills needed for the game but also for teaching leadership, sportsmanship, and teamwork. 

As a hockey/football/basketball/baseball-mom, I've watched my boys play their sports in both the OYA recreational league and various travel leagues.  It is always interesting to advance to the next level of play--and yet, the hockeymom in me does experience the challenge of civility at times. Afterall, when your son is checked hard into the boards or has received the wrong end of a cheap shot, you tend to get a bit emotional in the stands.  I prefer to call it passion, but most refs might call it annoying parent ranting.  This is when I learned to view the game from behind my lens.  While taking photos, I am usually sitting separate from the other parents in order to get the shot...but it also helps that no one is around to hear the rants that still slip from my mouth...

So it was a pleasure when I first had the opportunity to watch my oldest son play on his junior high school basketball team.  As two schools in our district took to the court as rivals, you'd never know it from the looks on the boys' faces.  Smiles, laughter and head nods were more what I saw as the two teams warmed up.  And the parents followed suit!  I saw parents who I had not seen in a few months since football ended...you see, these boys just completed their varsity football season with the Pioneers.  And as they were teammates just a few months ago, they now faced off against each other in an inter-district basketball rivarly! 

It was then that I personally learned about civility in sports.  While each team certainly had competitive interests, the boys appreciated each others' abilities.  I caught myself cheering for the other team one too many times, as I watched these former teammates achieve "nothing but net."  When reviewing my photos of the game, I realized I had just as many photos of former football teammates on the other team as I had of our own Wildcats!  And even when we didn't win against one of our inter-district opponents, we still left with smiles on our faces after reconnecting with old friends. 

I was surprised at how this experience made me feel; afterall, we've been watching these boys play against each other for years through their OYA recreational teams.  But something different was happening here...they were no longer our "boys", but rather young men competing at a higher level.  And their maturity was not just seen in their size--it showed in their attitude on the court.

One of the most rewarding parts of the basketball experience has been going through my photos with my oldest son.  He has positive comments to make about both his teammates and his opponents--those former football teammates who are truly great athletes.  He doesn't make cheap shots about how someone can jump higher or shoot better than he.  He recognizes their abilities and appreciates their skill.  And I am proud.  I look forward to the time when all these boys will once again be reunited on the fields and courts next year when they reach high school!

Now...about this civility thing I've been striving for in 2010...our hockey playoffs begin tonight.  It truly is our race to the cup, and I am hopeful that I can maintain the positive outlook I've learned from basketball.  But just in case...I'll be watching the games through my lens!