Healthy Competition?

As I've written before, my son plays on the freshman football team for his high school.  There are so many players that want to play, and football is one sport where players are not "cut" from the team, so I am thrilled that the school has two freshman teams--allowing all who want to play a chance to be a part of high school football. 

Let's face it...not all of these players will be on the team/field next year.  Many will want to be a part of the team all four years, but many will opt out after this year.  That is why I find it so important to at least help these young men get a taste of what it is like to be part of a high school team--being out on that field as your friends and family cheer you on! It truly is better than playing in a youth football league where stadiums don't often exist.  But for some, playing in that youth football league was the last of the glory days.

I always found it interesting and funny to hear about the trash talk that goes on between teams on the field.  I've got countless photos of my boys with smiles on their faces while on the field/ice...and they weren't smiling at me, but rather smiling/laughing at the things that their competition said.  I'm not one of those moms who will say, NOT MY SON," when it comes to recognizing that my boys have probably initiated some of this talk.  But hearing that this trash talk is now happening between the two freshman squads is disappointing.

It's true...the teams are split. They poke jabs at one another.  Is it simply healthy competition?  Not sure...and where do these boys come up with some of the stuff they say? I firmly believe that it comes from us...the parents.

Our kids learn a lot from their peers--peer pressure is getting more and more difficult for them to battle as they become older. But the values we instill in our kids from an early age should be the foundation that helps them get through these challenging times.  If we have taught them to value life, value leadership, and value individual differences, it should make it more difficult for them to comment casually about another player's inabilities.  If our children see us demonstrate our intolerance with others--even those horrible drivers out there--we're teaching them that it's ok to let someone know he or she is an idiot.  And as much as I'd hope I have taught tolerance, my defensive driving words demonstrate otherwise.  It may be small, but my son pointed it out to me recently.  Any demonstration of intolerance, however small, is still YOU teaching intolerance. 

Right now I am appalled at the cavalier language that is being used between our two freshman teams recently.  Calling out players as not being "qualified" to be on one team; using racial slurs to comment on a player's ability, and insisting that they are not part of ONE team is not healthy competition.  This has crossed the line...

As parents, it is up to us to remind our kids that they are all part of one team--and that like family, their teammates will be the one's that will support them when they need it. And for those players with the fast mouths this season...that player you just bad-mouthed may just be your wingman next season...the player that blocks for you when you run the ball, runs behind you as you block for him, or backs you up when you become injured.  That player that you call inappropriate names will have your back--but not if you alienate him now. Not if you harass him today.  Not if you take away his confidence tomorrow.  Not if you damage his love of the game. 

This is a time our boys need to act like leaders...not mindless followers who use words rather than talent. We are all part of one team that must support one another in good times and in bad. That is what will move all of us towards becoming stronger leaders and role models.  Healthy competition is good, I agree...but watch your mouths, boys...your teammates deserve better from you.