(Katie, Grandma, & Dennis)
The past few months have been a reflective time for me. While I lost my grandfather (mom's side) at the age of 98, I am also getting ready to celebrate my grandmother's 90th birthday (dad's side)! How lucky am I to still have grandparents around in their 90s?! Even more important to me, how luck are my children to have these very wise people in their lives?!!
My boys don't get to see my grandma as often as I wish they could. We were blessed with the chance to catch up on photographing the kids with her at my nephew's Communion party last weekend. When I see my oldest son with my grandma, I am amazed at how old he looks, and yet she still looks the same as she did to me when I was much younger. She still seems to have that same zest for life also!
(Joe, Grandma & Jack)
Last weekend Joe and I went to the cemetary "visiting". That's what we
call it these days. It is somewhat sad that my son and I do this, but it is
also very endearing to me that he wants to go with me when I go. This
time he wanted to be able to visit Kelly and leave flowers for him. Kelly
is Joe's hockey teammate who was in a tragic accident a few weeks ago. Joe felt good about "visiting" Kelly and checking in with him. While we know all of our loved ones' spirits are no longer at the cemetary, it is the one place we can go to remember them--whether with flowers (Kelly, Dad, Grandpa, Adam, Great Grandma) or with some toys or a hockey puck with us (Adam). From a very early age my boys began visiting their brother, Adam, at the cemetary. They knew his spirit had moved on, and that God had bigger plans for him that were beyond our understanding, but we still visit his gravesite and talk. My boys comment that if Adam were with us today, he'd be driving them to and from their friends' houses. I think of it as, "holy crap...I'd have a young driver in my house!" I'd take it all--the craziness and the fear of an older son--in a heartbeat if I could...but I've come to acknowledge that I may never truly understand all the reasons we lost Adam. Much like I just can't understand what God's plan is for Kelly and why Chris and Phil have to experience the pain of loss and conotinue to live their lives without him. I'd like to think that there are places that God needs him...a hockey team, young children who need faith, who knows.
And yet...what we don't understand can be balanced with what we do. OJ and my dad are off playing cards, playing tennis, or playing golf. They are moving comfortably, free from pain, and warm in the sunshine of the Light. Some may say that we just don't know what happens after we die...I guess I just have faith.
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