What Lessons am I supposed to learn?

As I sit here, compelled to write, my mind is blank.  I find myself filled with sadness and confusion.  It's not the first time I've had this feeling...the past year has been filled with some truly questionable experiences that cause me to pause.  This time, it's almost too much.

 

Yesterday I learned of the passing of a friend--too young and filled with too much joy to have left us.  Marlene was a mom in the purest form of the word.  She was a dedicated hockey mom, baseball mom, and softball mom, generously giving of her time and efforts.  She was always looking to make the world a little better for everyone else, never worrying about any extra effort it may take on her part.  She was someone you wanted to know...but often didn't realize this until you had the chance to know her.  Her passion for her family was something I admired.  Her altruistic manner was what I appreciated about her.

 

In the depth of it all, I find my self questioning the "why"...and while my faith tells me we need to trust while we may never truly know why God has the plans He has...I waiver.  I want to ask the big question...the WTF? moment fills me.  Losing far too many friends is challenging...what lessons am I supposed to gain from this? 

 

And then I saw a post from my friend Margarite.  It is an excerpt from a poem that came at exactly the right moment for me.  I still lack the peace I seek...but I do find some comfort in the words.

 

May I see the lessons as I walk,
honor the Purpose of all things.
Help me touch with respect,
always speak from behind my eyes.
Let me observe, not judge.
...May I cause no harm,
and leave music and beauty after my visit.
When I return to forever
may the circle be closed
and the spiral be broader.
~excerpted from a poem by the Aborigan poet, Bee Lake

 

Thank you, Margarite!