Parenting Skills

"It is none of our business"...
I know that I need not worry how others raise their children, so long as I focus on how I raise mine, that is all I need to worry about. Easier said than done. I am finding it extremely difficult to sit back and watch as I see such a lack of parenting skills around me. Mothers who find they need to do certain things to focus on themselves, at the expense of even seeing their children.

It has only been a year since I made the change to stop working like a crazy person--50+ hours a week, many evenings away from my family, all to "bring home the bacon". I loved the work, I lived on the thrill of it all...but I began to feel the tug and pull of the "hidden mom" in me asking me, "is this really who you want to be?"

Perhaps there were others who said the same things about me...what kind of mother was I? I wasn't around much, but when I was, I was with my boys. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to watch them do whatever it is they do. When I wasn't working, I would have many invitations to go to different "night's out" with the girls. Sometimes I would go, but not if there was a game one of the boys had. Some of my friends would tell me, "you need to learn to just say 'no' and take time for you!". All I could think of was how selfish that sounded. It just didn't work for me.

Now that I've been around more for my boys, I don't regret the decision to leave the fast-paced life one bit. Because I am home more, and because I do spend more time with the boys, I can take the time to do things with friends without any twinge of guilt whatsoever.

I know it is not my place to judge others, but it does worry me when I see a 'vacant' look on a child's face because dad works long hours, travels out of town three days a week, and mom (who technically is a 'stay-at-home' mom) drops off the kids at a grandma's house for 5+ hours so she can go work out and go out with friends. This child clings to both mom and dad when they are around--this child whines when they are around--this child searches for any sense of attention he can get, because he doesn't get it any other way.

OK, my opinion...and yes, I'll try to keep my opinion's to myself...after I get off my soapbox one more time!